a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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