Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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