What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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96 there mad at each other instead its 69

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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