Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops