whats 1 + 1? 2

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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