A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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heads up!

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. He is a policeman bringing in a murder weapon as part of his investigation.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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