Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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What do you call a black man who is great at basketball? An all-star

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Your dads dead. lol

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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