Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

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What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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