A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

thumb_up thumb_down -19

People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A dyslexic blind man

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

thumb_up thumb_down -19

BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops