A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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