Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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