Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops