Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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How do you make a priest cry? ... You kill his family

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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Why did Hitler Kill his self Answer- He got a gas bill By Lewis

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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An Aisian failed a test

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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