what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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