A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

#Cutforbieber - Cole g.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

thumb_up thumb_down +4

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops