What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

wanna hear a better joke? casey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Weed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops