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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops