Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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just in time?

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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