Lewis

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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The Female Orgasm

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How High is a Chinese man

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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