Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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whats 2+2? math.

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Womens rights

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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