tom pauling

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Albert <3 Hunter

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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