Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops