What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

guest what i love pancakes

why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

You know whats funny? Women's rights

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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