70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

do you wanna hear a joke school

How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

One time at band camp.............that's it........

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

I love alchohol!

A man buys a prius

What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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