A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

You know whats funny Aids

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

wanna hear a better joke? casey.

A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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