drew edminstin is a rat

thumb_up thumb_down -14

someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

thumb_up thumb_down -14

yolo your orange looks orange

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops