what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down -23

CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

thumb_up thumb_down -23

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

who do we all like george goodburn

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -23

your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops