A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Me

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops