Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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