Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops