What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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knock knock... ...no answer

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Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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