Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Jokes Ki Duniya

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

thumb_up thumb_down -23

good looking women

thumb_up thumb_down -23

if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

69

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops