'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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