who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

thumb_up thumb_down +8

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A women in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +8

White men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops