Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

why did arno fly away? he was a bird

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

Knock Knock. Go Away!

Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

How do you make a anti-joke on this website? Type it out, click I have read and agree to the Terms of Service, then press submit.

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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