Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops