What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Fart

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops