Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

homosexuals are gay

What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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