What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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I work at jcpenny

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? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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wanna here a joke? you.

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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