Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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knock knock whos there your mother open the door

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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whats worst then dieng in a videogame

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J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? It will probably come up in conversation, usually during the planning phase of a trip to a restaurant.

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Wanna hear another joke? Wes Trillows penis!!!

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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