What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops