How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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I like Pi. It can make circles.

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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