why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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ask me if im a door yes

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops