How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

YOU

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

This is not a joke

Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

The Earth is a nice place to live.

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...