Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

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Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

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Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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What's an Anti Joke?

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A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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