My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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