Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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Dusters blow stuff.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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The Holocaust

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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