People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Continents are large islands.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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