Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

24

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

thumb_up thumb_down +12

haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Oh my God! A talking dog!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops