How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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