When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Womens rights

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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know whats funnier than 24? 25.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Do you like fishsticks No

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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